Here is what Rach (sis-in-law) said at your memorial service. Hopefully I can round up what the others said as well. Love you.
I am honored to have a few minutes to speak at our beloved Lana’s memorial service.
My heart is especially heavy as I look at my brother Ben and their beautiful boys Mathew and Andrew…as well as her parents Pam and Arnie.
When I think of Ilana, I remember a light with a radiant smile and a love of people and life. Abraham Lincoln said “In the end, it’s not the years in your life, but the life in your years.” Lans put a lot of heart and soul into her 33 years as a devoted wife, mother, daughter, sister, nurse, and friend.
Abe also said “Die when I may, I want it said by those who knew me best that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower where I thought a flower would grow.” Lans gently calmed any contention and only planted flowers for all those who knew her. Everyone felt valued and loved by Lana, and she leaves an imprint on your heart that will never leave. She always left me wanting to be better and emulate her characteristics. Whether it was that she was running 5 miles a day after just having Matthew, giving the most compassionate service as a nurse (even up to the days her boys were born), or just always seeing the bright side and doing tough things without complaint.
I met Ilana when Ben and she were dating in 1999. It was clear that they had something magical between them. Both got excited and beamed when the other was in the room. I know she loved and believed in Ben, and without question, she was his best friend.
I remember the joys and many struggles that only seemed to bring them closer. They had a beautiful wedding in May of 2001, followed by a rough residency in Connecticut, spent 3 years living with Lans parents, and shortly with mine before Ben completed their beautiful cancer boutique store “Fine Fittings.” Lans was a natural nurturer and a family person and was eager to make a home of her own after her 1st son Matthew was born. She and Ben happily made a home in the store until they purchased their home about a year later. Lans never complained. I always had so much admiration for her positive outlook on life and her ability to see all the good, even in struggle. She would and did sacrifice everything for her sweet family.
We found out about her cancer in January of this year 2011. She had just had her second son Andrew she called her “Miracle Baby.” She dreamt of being a mother for as long as I can remember, and loved her boys (all 3 of them) with all of her heart, body, and soul.
Lans always enjoyed the moment and was a delight wherever she was;
*I remember her laughing her infectious Lana laugh at the “granny panties” she bought for the Christmas gag gift exchange last year.
*I am forever grateful to Ben for taking our wedding video this last May, and capturing our Lans as she gave wedding advise “Rachel is always right” with a chuckle and radiant smile even after 6 rounds of chemo. She selflessly wanted to be there even though she was so weak, and never liked to miss a party. Bryan, my husband, treasures the time talking to her (with my affectionately named Andrew “ Mr. Chubs”) prior to the wedding. She mentioned that she and Ben had their 10 year anniversary just days before. Her family meant everything to her.
None of us could have imagined the grueling year Lans would have as we got family pictures on January 1, 2011. She had mentioned some pain (which was not typical for Lans), but we thought it was related to the recent birth of her son Andrew. No one thought the nightmare of cancer would consume her last 10 months. I know that her parents Pam and Arney, Ben, my mom, sister Becca, and sister-in-law Jamie were closely involved in these last months. I am grateful to have had a few weeks to see her, get very attached to her handsome boys, and be inspired by how nobly she has gone through this agonizing process. Even in extreme pain, suffering, and being stuck in a body that no longer moved or was able to communicate, she has a will of iron. Her body gave out, but her spirit lives on.
CS Lewis said: “ I can’t help suspecting, the dead also feel the pains of separation.”
If I know Lans, she is aching to comfort her family. It was always her first priority. I have no doubt that she will watch over Ben and her boys as they grow to men.
I can remember just weeks ago being at Mayo, and saying to Ben and Lans…you just belong together. Lans whispered through the tracheotomy, “We will be together forever.” Ben added, “We are a great team. Together we can do anything.” To which I (a typical sister) added, “You mean Lans can do anything.” Ben in his playful retort said, “ yeah, if you attached yourself to a team like that …you can do anything.”
Lans example of love will never be forgotten. Words can not express the imprint she has left on all of our hearts. There is an ache without her physical presence here, but she lives on.
I am grateful to have had the privilege of knowing such an incredible person here…and like her, I refuse to say goodbye…and know I will see her again.
In the meantime Lans, we will do everything we can to take care of the boys you were dying to live for. They will know their loving and incredible mother. You are loved beyond words Lans.
No comments:
Post a Comment