Boys

Lans, this all still feels like a dream. We feel like we are just waiting for you to come home from work or the hospital. How is it you are not here with us? You are so loved and needed.

We worked out a schedule with the boys. I will get them Monday and Wednesday, Ben and your mom will each take a Tuesday or Thursday and they will be with Jaimee on Friday. I told you the Monday before you passed that we would take care of them and love them. .. and we will forever.

Being with them brings both tremendous joy and ache. Andrew is your spitting image. Matthew has your smile and energy. They are so perfect and they keep us busy :). I see so much of you in them and it feels nice to have a piece of you with us on earth, but oh it is so tragic they won't get to feel your arms around them and know first hand how beautiful your laugh is. Ben said aching, "They had the best mommy."

They came to my Jacob's birthday party on Saturday. .

I had the boys when your mom called me to tell me you passed. Matthew was on a scooter at the time and zoomed past me while I sobbed and said, "Weeeeeeeeeee."
We had spagetti so we stripped them. You loved their little bodies.