Look at this picture Uncle Dave sent. . . you and Ben smoochin' in his old Camaro on Long Island.
My heart breaks for Ben. . . I am not sure how much you remember of your last few days Lans. He took such good care of you. He didn't leave your bed side. He kissed you and spoke to you so sweetly. He checked your vitals and listened to your lungs. I was there when the doctor gently told him he was doing everything he could but didn't want to give him false hope. Ben was pleading with him to keep helping and that he could get you better. The doctor didn't think Ben understood. Ben finally said, "I know. . I know. . but she is my wife." He was desperate to keep you. Every girl should be so loved. .. but you my love are not every girl. You are the best. A huge gaping hole is left in his heart.
You told me you had only see him cry three times in your entire marriage during absolutely devastating times(1 of which was at your diagnosis). . . I have seen him cry more than that just yesterday. He looks like he lost 20 pounds in two days. After you passed my mom asked him if he had eaten. He said, "Ilana and I will share her last meal." He drank the last of your green gross slop he had been injecting into your feeding tube. If you can comfort him from beyond please do. We are doing our best to help over here.
I love you Lans.
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