Well Lans, it doesn't happen often but on a rare occasion a spouse will speak at a funeral. Ben wasn't sure if he would be composed enough to do it, but when it came down to it he couldn't let you go without saying something. He said he wished he had more time to prepare, but even with all the time in the world I don't think he could have said anything more beautiful.
I am sure I am missing things and the order is off, but this is how I remember it two weeks later. I sent it to Ben to look over . . . so I'll get it back and it will be perfect. . . in three months. ;) He is hanging in there . . . barely. He started journaling all his memories of you for your boys. Ben is so wonderful, I am so thankful to be his sister.
Here is what I remember (until I get Ben's revisions):
He talked about how he met you working at Mayo and how he would always look for you in the cafeteria because you were so cute and fun. Then after a lot of asking you finally agreed to your first date and you two just clicked- you were so positive and excepting and "I needed that". You both had had dates scheduled the next night nad both cancelled them without even talking to each other about it. And you were together every day since.
He said that every good memory he has is because of you. He was always so focused on meeting goals and getting things done that it was only because of you he stopped to enjoy and create lasting memories. And because of you he has your boys that will continue to make him stop and make him smile.
He said you always made him feel like he could do anything and made him feel that he inspired you. How he built the store for you so that you would be taken care of if something happened to him. . .and now your not here, but you've taken care of him. He said that you made him feel that he made you want to try new things and to improve. And how proud he was when you became a nurse.
He talked about when he was in residency and how competitive people were with each other. Within a short time you had started coffee dates and play groups.. you always had a way of breaking down barriers and bringing people together.
When Ben was in his residency and had two heart attacks and everything he had worked for his entire life was gone, you stood by him in his darkest hours and helped him through. He realized more than ever what a treasure he had in you as he didn't feel most spouses would not have stuck around.
He talked about how this cancer trial had restored his faith in people. I didn't know there were this many good people in this world. He said thank you. And that he said, "I feel blessed."
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