Dear Lans.. .

My sweet sister and friend. . .I miss you.    I started nursing school in July and every other part of my life (blogs included) have taken a back seat.  Yet the whole experience has had me longing that you were here sitting shot gun.  I'm at GCC like you were and will hopefully be at Thunderbird for my next clinical on the same floor you worked on dreaming you were my preceptor. There are reminders of you everywhere.  Each one comes with longing and love for you and I have found myself teary when triggers of your memory come.

I know the anniversary of your passing was November 2nd, but better late than never, I am writing you with updates.  As you know, unfortunately and thankfully life has gone on without you.  I wonder what you're thinking as you watch over all of us. . especially those sweet boys you fought so hard to be with.  They have grown Lans!!!  Andrew with his little mama face is such a gentle giant.  He is content and kind and almost as big as Matthew.  He is potty trained now too!  Marina and Ben were a little worried about his speech and had him tested - he will start in a speech therapy preschool next year.  It is fun to hear his little conversations these days.  I don't see him near as often as I would like now and each time comes with sooo much growth in every way- speech, size, personality, social skills, etc.

Matthew, I can only imagine how you throw your head back, laughing watching that little pistol.  He is so fun Lans.  Always curious, always asking questions, always with some adorable little remark.  He does like to beat up on Andrew a little bit but I'm sure it's just a matter of time until Andrew realizes he's stronger and gets him back :)  They are so loveable it is ridiculous. He is taking piano lessons now too and loves it!

Ben and Marina have made a great life for those boys as well as Sammy and David and the new little addition Nathan aka Blabbachunya.  Sammy and David are so responsible and loving - remarkable boys.  Every time they are around I am so impressed with them!  And Nathan is the happiest baby ever - content like Andrew was but with a smile permanently glued on his face.  They have gutted the house- you wouldn't even recognize the place.  Wood floors, gorgeous furniture, paint, Venetian plaster, decor, etc.  It is stunning.  I am grateful to Marina for making a home that she feels is her own and yet she still is kind enough to honor your memory with your pictures and your ashes beautifully displayed.  It's funny to think how worried we were that those two moved so quickly.  Marina has been a gift to Ben and those boys and her older boys and little Nathan too.  They have created a beautiful life together and we are so grateful.  There have been challenges that have come and she has been right be his side helping Ben.  She is a remarkable mama and your boys adore her and a good wife to Ben.   Ben is a very hands on daddy these days and of course his garden is amazing.  

Speaking of remarkable mamas . . . that mom of yours is absolutely remarkable.  She and your daddy have loved Marina like she was born to them.  They help watch all the boys for date nights and dinners, etc.  They continue to delight in your family and honor your memory.  We are constantly talking about your parents in awe of the people they are and the kindness they show... but you don't have a daughter like YOU by chance!  Your nature and nurture is unmatched.

I miss you.  I love you.  I hope that you are keeping them loved and entertained up there on the other side because we sure miss you down here.

Becca