I so rare I have to put this kiddo in time out these days. . .and it's a good thing, because this sad defeated face near killed me.  Heart breaker.

Lans your little man will run to my piano as soon as he gets to my house.  He loves making music!!  And when he gets tired of playing the piano he starts climbing it.  Look how big those hands are!!  He is such a big cute boy!!!

New home!!

Lans we were so determined to get you better- you and Ben wouldn't even entertain thoughts that you would be leaving.  So when you passed away those questions we weren't willing or able to ask finally surfaced.  Life insurance?  Keeping the store open?  Is their social security? Does Ben get to keep the house as it was in your name?  Etc.  

As those answers came and they were better than expected Ben said in disbelief, "I did everything I could to try to build a future for Lana in case something happened to me.  And now she is gone, and in her short life she is the one who continues taking care of me."  

There was a little more life insurance than expected, he does get some social security - he will be able to be there for your boys...because of you.    And as you know Ben will make the most with it.  

Your house is in probate and Ben continues to live there and loves it because you were there, but he was able to close on a home yesterday which he will rent out (and move into if needs be) and it will hopefully generate extra income for he and the boys.  

And the store continues to be more and more profitable.  Ben was so happy yesterday after the home closing and a great promotion at the store.  It was the first time I has seen him this happy in a very, very long time.   

It feels good to know that your efforts and sacrifices with the store and your heavy work schedule were not in vain.  Your influence is still felt and appreciated every day.   So if know someone that wants to rent a great - 4 bedroom plus den home, Ben's got one!!!  Rach and Bryan are coming next week to help gut this cutie- it is in much need of a little paint and tlc.  

Mr. Ma-who.

Oh Lans, I am so grateful for you.  This week has brought so many good things for your little family.  And it is mostly due to your hard work and love.   

These sweet boys are growing sweeter by the moment.  When you passed away and a little before Matthew was just struggling. . . biting, fits, crying, hitting, etc.  At one point I had suggested to Ben that he should try my gym for a little daddy time.  While Ben was touring the place, Matthew bit two or three kids and was suspended from the gym for two weeks.  Ugg. . talk about your all time back fire. Ben looked so defeated and overwhelmed as he tried his hand at single parenting.   

I think a lot of it was Matthews age, maybe it was that life for a while was so unpredictable when you were sick. . maybe he understood more about your death than we thought.  

Regardless, those days are gone.  This little angel has turned into the most magnificent little man!!  He is mild and helpful and tender.  He listens and he loves.  He is an absolute delight.  Ben went from worrying to bursting with pride.  Andrew is just as perfect and chewable as you probably remember - he's into things, capable and curious of making mischief but soooo, soooo sweet.  

 My older kids yelled from the back yard, "MOM, QUICK! LOOK AT ANDREW!"  I sprinted our of fear he was on the edge of the patio table dancing again, but what I found was this cute little lounger.  They were yelling with urgency because they didn't want me to miss how adorable he was!

My goodness these boys are easy to love Lans.  And they love cantaloupe!

Relay for Life: San Antonio

Sweet Lans, as you know we lost my cousin John Scheon to colon cancer just two years before we lost you - he too left behind an adoring spouse and beautiful children(his youngest was not yet one just like Andrew at your passing). Jacqui (his wife) did Relay for Life this year and she was kind enough to make a luminary to honor you.

I wonder if the two of you have met up there and chatted about your babies. I hope you are happy up there, I can't imagine you any other way. I believe you are. . because you ARE happiness.

Sick as dogs

Chicken pox. Diarrhea. Vomit. Yeast infection. It's been a week Lans for your poor little boys- Matthew in particular. He's been a champ considering, but has needed lots of snuggles. Good thing Grandpa Greg came for a visit to take care of those needs. Grandpa "thinks" he had chicken pox as a kid. Let's hope - we'll find out in 10 to 21 days I guess. You sure about that whole not immunizing thing? If you're second guessing up there, maybe put a bug in Ben's ear . . .or hit him upside with the head with a Heavenly frying pan! Just Kidding!! mostly. Miss you every second.



This is one gorgeous little boy. He is so tender and curious.