Friday, November 2, 2012

My letter to you. . .


Dear Lans,

It has been one year since we lost you. . . and man it’s been a year.  I’ll never forget the moment I got the call from your mom that sent me sobbing to my knees, crippled with sadness.  I have missed you every day, every hour, every minute. . . .  for months a cloud hung over me.  How could I laugh when you weren’t here?  How could I be happy when your boys lost their mom, the best mom?  How could I plan and hope for my future when my brother’s world was flipped upside down. . when your ONLY hope was to see your boys grow? 

I’ll never forget when we dressed your body for the viewing how inexplicably happy we felt . . we felt YOU with us and I was thankful that you were free from your broken body.  While I was glad your suffering was over, I completely lacked understanding.  Why were you taken?  Why so young?  I knew you were there. I’d felt your sweet presence, but were you alright?  For months I prayed and prayed and prayed. . and what I have felt time and time again is peace.  I am overwhelmingly sure of our Heavenly Father’s love for you. He knows you. He loves you. I know you are okay. . . While my understandings still lacks and my heart still aches for you, through prayer I was/am able to find peace.   It is truly a gift from God that I am thankful for every day. 

And it was a peace I needed as I watched a hollow Ben try to do it on his own and truthfully it wasn’t going well.  It was a peace I needed as I watched your beautiful house that you worked so hard for look like a war zone.  A peace I needed when Andrew took his first steps and you weren't there.  A peace I needed when I watched your teary daddy as he sent you a balloon for your birthday.  A peace I needed when I watched Ben sobbing on Mother’s day that he and your boys had lost everything when they lost you.  As long as you were happy and loved I knew we would get through it down here. 

As you know Ben started dating Marina and I will be the first to admit that his moving on has come with every emotion imaginable.  But I am overwhelmingly grateful for her presence in our lives.  She has brought balance, structure and warmth back in the life of your boys.  I can’t imagine as you look down that you could hope for more for them in your absence. . I hope it brings you peace that we are alright and that it is ok for you to smile and be happy and have the same peace I feel knowing you are loved up there. 

I will forever be grateful for the blessing you have been in my life.  I miss your smile.  I miss your laugh. . ohh, I ache for it.  I miss your wit.  I miss your humor.  I miss your nose scrunching up when you laugh.  I miss your ridiculously strong biceps.  I miss your honesty.  I miss your love.  I miss how you would always look for the good in everyone.  I miss your kindness.  I miss your simple pure dreams.  I miss your priorities.  I miss you behind the counter at your store.  I miss you telling Matthew, “You’re such a guteness!!”  I miss you quoting movie lines.  I miss your ability to laugh at yourself.  I miss your example of how a wife should see the good in her husband.  I miss your devotion.  I miss your work ethic.  I miss your chicken legs.  I miss that you would burn your spaghetti.  I miss eating fruit.  I miss your organization.  I miss your nail polished toes.  I miss going to Target with you.  I miss your head on your moms shoulder.  I miss watching funny movies with you.  I miss your cute bald head.  I miss your ability to see blessings in trials.  I miss your optimism.  I can’t think of one little thing about you that I don’t miss. 
I will love you forever and ever. . until we meet again.

Love,

Becca 

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