Sweet Lans this has been a busy month and some serious decisions have been made. Ben with help from Bry and Rach and other family got the rental home all ready and beautiful. Then your mom called and said, "We'd like to rent it!" This is so ideal for your parents and for Ben. Your poor mom has had an insane commute - driving from my house to Bens house to pick up the boys, then she would bring them to my house and then drive back to the store, then home again after work - at least 3 hours on the road. . ugg. This will be a GOOD thing!! So she and your daddy have been taking a load a day to the new house and hope to move the bulk of the house out by this weekend. Your mom is sooo happy to be close the store and your boys.
While Erin and her boys have been helpful, it has become clear in recent months that Ben needs full time help with the boys. So starting July 1st a full time nanny will be moving in and taking your boys during store hours so Ben can catch up and then get ahead at the store. This means I won't be watching the boys a few days a week - which is so bitter sweet for me. Life is so busy and juggling six kiddos has had it's challenges, but my goodness I love your little boys sooooo much. I will have to set up many play dates with the nanny so I don't have serious withdrawals and can also snag some pics and keep up this blog! Hopefully this will be a smooth transition.
In addition Ben has been on a few dates. He has gone back and forth from wanting to fill a huge gaping hole in his heart and life to feeling like it is pointless because he has only wanted you - he is madly in love with YOU. Guilt for even thinking of moving on. longing for companionship. sadness. hope. . he's felt it all. When I talked to him about it I recalled you completely unwilling to talk about "IF" you lost your battle with cancer - you refused to accept the fact that you wouldn't be here. BUT the ONE thing you did address, "If I don't make it, I would want you to remarry." You know Ben, you know he needs companionship.
Miss you always- shine on us. .
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