Connecticut Visit

I found these pictures this weekend.  Id looked for them in the past without success and was so thankful to find this picture proof of my memory.  Ryan, Lauren and I visited you and Ben in Connecticut where Ben was in residency.   I was so happy to see you both and thrilled to see how beautiful you'd made your home.  You'd painted and shopped for deals at second hand places and were rightfully so proud of the home you'd made.  You introduced me to Helen whom you adored and showed us around.  We ate pizza and laughed and soaked you up!  We had no idea that you and Ben were going through a difficult challenge in residency- we were lost in the comfort of your smile.  I'm so grateful to you Lans for loving Ben through, aside from losing you, the most difficult challenge of his life.  You built him up, you gave him reason to live and dream and pulled him through the darkest of hours.  With you there was always hope. You always good reason to just keep going for one more day and one more day after that... And now through your boys you continue to do the same thing. I love you forever. 

Message from your daddy..

Dear Lans,  we miss you always and forever.  Your sweetest dad has been listening to Allen Jacksons "Sissy's Song."  After listening again I was blown away... Certain it was written for you.   So often we feel alone in our anguish, but hearing this song is a reminder that there are a million just like us hurting and loving and singing songs that we'd think were written just for us. Your daddy loves his girl.  

Here is the link and lyrics:  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCvgXw-Bh04&sns=em. 

Sissy's Song

Why did she have to go
So young I just don't know why
Things happen half the time
Without reason without rhyme
Lovely, sweet young woman
Daughter, wife and mother
Makes no sense to me
I just have to believe

[Chorus]
She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me

Loved ones she left behind
Just trying to survive
And understand the why
Feeling so lost inside
Anger shot straight at God
Then asking for His love
Empty with disbelief
Just hoping that maybe

She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me

It's hard to say goodbye
Her picture in my mind
Will always be of times I'll cherish
And I won't cry 'cause

She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me

Don't worry 'bout me, don't worry about me

Westlife - I'll See You Again with Lyrics

Lans your sweet daddy emailed me, clearly in a moment of missing his sweet you. . It too had me tearing up.  Can't wait to wrap my arms around you and hear that laugh and see that grin.  ..till we meet again.



Hi Becca,
I really miss you.  This was a very powerful song I just found I don't know if you have heard it. " I'll see you again Westlife," it brought me to my knees.
All my love,
Arnie

Email from Hilary

Your daddy was kind enough to forward this email from Hilary. . . oh how I love healthy pictures of you in happy places.   When we share these special memories I kind of feel like I'm getting new memories with you and I  miss making new memories with you.  Could you be more beautiful?

Here is a love not from your sister:  

Hi Becca, My Aunt Wendy took these pixs.I think this was at Jessica's batchelorette party. I remeber this because of the outfit I was wearing! We were in Tucson. Oh, how I miss the four of us together, and Friday night gettogethers at my Mom's house.  I really look back at this too because,  Chris looked so much better, this was before the accident. Now a days its just so hard to get him to go places. Because of all the driving. These pix were taken 10/27/2007. If it wasn't for Aunt Wendy and all of her picture taking at every family get together,  we wouldn't have these precious pix, I love these pix. I treasure them in my heart. I don't care what anybody says, but I had more fun as a red head! Great times! I apologize if I didn't share these sooner. They've just been saved on my phone, probably computer too, when Aunt Wendy emailed them to me. But I just love looking at these pix. Oh, and Ben tied my tie, because Chris never wore a tie in  his life. LOL!

First day of school

Lans, Marina sent me this text this morning:

My boys first.day of school.

I took my Matthew to kinder today, he was excited, but I start to cry..omg, I don't understand why, I went trough this twice before, but today was very emotional for me, I felt such a privilege and honor.to do that, I hope his mom looking down and proud of him as much as I am!!

He is and so handsome!! So.proud.of my baby. Before I left, he told me" mommy , you will be proud of me!!". It just made me cry even more..."

Your mama said she was teary too but thankful for Marina.   I'm sure you are with him today, smiling that gorgeous smile and helping him feel brave:) 

Christmas! Nativity/gift exchange!

Your fam joined us for a Christmas celebration.  We started with the gift exchange. . .

 And when your daddy picked up the package I knew held your beloved granny panties I couldn't help but think maybe you had a hand in this.  He was dying laughing and when he realized they were YOURS he laughed even harder knowing you were scheming from the other side!

 He wouldn't try them on, even though we begged :)

 Ben got an ipad homemade from Lexi :)

 Then we moved onto the nativity as is tradition.  Your boys performed beautifully of course :)

 Nathan filled in for baby Jesus :)

 I hope your Christmas was beautiful Lans. . we love you.

Baby love and anniversary

I don't think I've posted these before . . these pictures were from my parents 40th wedding anniversary.  We surprised them!  Matthew was just a tiny guy then.  10/2/09.